SO SAD :( i don't think many people saw my previous post but ohwells HAHA,

read up on jarryl's blog recently and i've decided to post about the class 2-1'09 chalet as well ;)

well..as jarryl said, english can't describe the joy and emotion that was felt, but if i were to hit the target as close as possible here's how i would describe it:

well, i actually went to aloysius' house before the chalet on that day, wanted to try his new Wii game :) so after that i cabbed to tampines MRT where everyone was supposed to meet...WELL GUESS WHAT? THEY PANGSEHED ME!!! haha nah just kidding it wasn't on purpose, HAHA so when i reached there (with desmond) i heard of the unfortunately yet rather fortunate news that they needed an 18 year old to check in for us!!! NOOOO haha well we were all 14 so i guess...WE COULDN'T check in...

so i called my mom, so... MOMMY TO THE RESCUE! i was honestly abit pissed at that point of time, many people were starting to ask me where was my mother and stuff..i mean...MY MOM IS COMING ALL THE WAY FROM THE OTHER PART OF THE ISLAND!!! and like...she doesn't HAVE to come yknow...i'm sure many of 2-1's parents were free too but ur were too lazy to ask..so yeah...i was pissed, but of course as alex always says...smile and it'll go away..! :)

yepp so mom saved us, we went in everyone went to get settled, many people were just doing random things like mahjong, cards, monoply, taboo, soccer etc. but it was fun because many classmates were all having fun together!

so we had our BBQ! well the food was okay i guess...many people were leaving stuff all over the place so i helped to clean up abit :) but hopefully more people could be more responsible...but everyone was having fun so..haha RELAX LAH! yeah...i didn't miss out on any of the fun either i guess...MS chow and MS khoo came, they seemed to enjoy it quite much too, despite ms chow's camera's flash breaking, but ohwells...

at night we all went to the beach, HAHA pretty fun, dirty beach. some of us were pretty afraid of "shui gui" or water ghosts in chinese...so i guess it was all sand no water for us HAHA...it was quite freaky yknow in the dark...HAHA

the best part was that on our way back..we decided to go to old changi hospital (picture on top) which is supposedly haunted. honestly, my belief is that there are supernatural things there, so i didn't really wanna mess with it haha u should've seen alex, super funny :) he prayed a prayer for us btw HAHA to tell the spirits we are only having fun. HE TOOK A PICTURE and guess what? there was a figure in the picture! WOOOOOO HAHAHAHA

anws not many slept that night only a few like daniel foo who's face got a dot of toothpaste thanks to bryan mui HAHA, i was all over the place checking out who was doing what and asking whether they were enjoying themselves :)

well...yepp then after that in the morning all of us went home so..the end HAHA

there's alot of things i have to say about 2-1, but yknow..i think it goes without saying...every single class i've been on is different and 2-1...is a great highlight of my secondary school life, there is such a strong covalent bond between us, whether there are different cliques or groups, they are just different elements that still make up the molecule which is 2-1!

HUSTLE

LOYALTY

RESPECT

2-1'09

ANWS, i am so confused right now...

ya see, i am going for this "mission impact trip" to thailand, organised by my church, but one of the training dates clash with my CMC camp...:( and the trainings are compulsory..HOW???

i wanted to pon my CMC camp..but..but everything has been paid for and like..it came first so if i don't go ms khoo will kp me, but if i dont go for the training..then..idk, what if i miss something important? so far my plan is to skip one training cos like...going for cmc camp is seriously no choice, i just hope God will provide some sort of solution.

anws, not really concerning abt that so now i shall just give some recent updates about life so far...

well...i really will miss 2-1, after the chalet and all, i realise the class spirit is seriously real strong,

erm..aloysius got a new game called band hero which is SUPER FUN

i'm gonna be in triple science next year in class 3-3

erm...i havent done any work yet...

and..well yeah there's alot more i guess (:

i noe many class people have been doing "i miss 2-1 forever" posts, but i'm not gonna do tt,

some things are better left well...unsaid, cos i believe it's alr known :)

well i wanna post abt something IMPORTANT, yaknow something that...means something to people instead of my boring ol life HAHA.

hmmmm...how about motivation to live on? yeah..yeah..yeah that'll work :)

you know i used to ask myself last time, why i didn't like..jump down and just kill myself..

i mean why don't ya? life can be fun sometimes, but alot of times there's so much hurt, conllict, imperfection and all sorts of crap life throws at ya so why dont u just end it all? sometimes i still have such thoughts...nothing makes me want to kill myself, but like..sometimes when you're tired..of life, you just wish there was an eternal sleep yknow?

when i was young i told myself not to, cos in the bible it tells me those tt suicide go to hell, like the movie in what dreams may come.

but the question has always hit me...why do people who don't believe in God don't die? what is their motivation to stay alive? i mean..it's so easy, JUST JUMP...

then i began to realise, if we dont put religion into this...

that everyone wonders if tomorrow will be a better day. i know i always wonder that, or maybe it's because they believe there will be joy in life some day :) that's why they still live on! i think the word here is "HOPE"...

so HOPE has been our motivation all along! correct am i? is there anyone here that is actually HOPE-LESS??? i dont think so, there are always possibilities that something will happen that cause ur rtd situation to turn around right?

so now what is my motivation?

i don't live on cos i know if i suicide now i'll go to hell, that just means i have FEAR

no...now i live cos there's HOPE, and for me, God is my HOPE:)

EVERY SINGLE DAY, i feel like it's an adventure yknow? alot of crappy stuff have been happening in my life...but...somehow, i've seen this crappy stuff turn around in the past, and well...I LEARNT ALOT FROM IT...

everytime a crappy situation comes my way, i tell myself that once it's over, i'll learn something from it, and i'll be VERY HAPPY...

for example my dad's family situation in the past...

20 years of ur life with a broken family...if i were him then i would probably have killed myself with a piece of tissue paper long ago..but somehow he didn't, he told me that he believed it was gonna turn it around

and now look at this, many years now his family is extremely happy :) and to see the joy..it's it's beautiful (: it's not cheap joy ya know, like the kind when u loot T9.5 gear from a boss...it's lasting

and so if you are in a crappy situation and you feel like just giving up? well...DON'T i tell ya, there's always that hope it's gonna turn around sometime...not by luck or anything but i believe by GOD (yes alex, IGNORMOUS GOD) HAHAHA, and also believe that there's hope and possibility..kay? (:

and whenever situations, no matter how sad, or hurtful they may be, look at it at a positive point of view, and believe it will turn around cos it will (: i promise that...

though sometimes...it may seem hopeless

"why are mom and dad quarreling all the time"

"i can't believe he could do this to me"

"i am useless...i can't do anything, why not i just die right now!"

so many reasons why not to my friend, but if you still don't believe there's hope well then...imagine

the loved ones u r leaving behind...imagine how hurt they'll be

yknow i remember when i was 5 or 6, i wanted to runaway from home, cos i felt my parents loved my sister more than me...but yknow why i didn't? this time not because of hope...

but..i imagined my funeral...my mom and my dad sobbing...living their lives regretting that they should've done sooo many things...but it wasn't their fault! i chose to give up, i chose to run away, i wont allow the ones i love to live their lives in regret and sadness! HOW SELFISH OF ME.

in the end i didn't, giving up isn't so easy...

in twilight: death is easy, but living life is hard

physically YES it's true, emotionally, spiritually i dont believe that.

giving up? it's just...hard...no matter who you are...

i'm sure some of you may have been at the window sill...

"kk, i'm gonna do it..."

then U DONT! cos it was too hard...

i'm not saying life is hard, IT IS, but not hard in the way that u hate.

like a math problem...you try hard to solve it, and when you do, how do ya feel? accomplished? satisfied? happy?

giving up may not only mean just death..but..not caring abt something too...

back to the math problem, u can choose to say, what the heck, and just sit there in front of it and dont do it cos "math is dumb, i dont needa care"

that's no different from killing urself m8, u still gave up when u can press on..

and who knows? maybe you can tell ur kids that u survived that math problem, and the moral of the lesson is to never give up bla bla.

but i dont need to say much, if you take a look at ur own lives, u'll know what i'm talking abt...but i posted this to remind yall just in case u are on the verge of giving up (:

all of us go through tough situations in life...especially as teens we tend to start thinking alot abt it...and it affects us, but noe that u are not alone, sometimes there are stuff u cant solve...but u have to wait upon the Lord, the HOPE.

there's alot i can still continue about this..but i think i'll end it here, always remember to wait upon the HOPE

i promise to post more often HAHA (: anws back to my boring life, tomorrow will be morning with a laker's game, afternoon prob just slakcing at some person's house? idk i know some upper sec people from church have a gig but i didnt buy tickets so i cant go, and erm having dinner with aloysius who is my kor HAHA CIAO!

i'll be honest, i have wanted to post. i have been staring at this screen everyday actually wanting to tell u EVERYTHING I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT DAY. but idk...something just held me back...i guess i didn't wanna tell whoever reads the blog everything i thought...

i have a lot to say, there's been a lot i have been thinking abt lately, some say thinking too much isn't healthy but...i beg to differ, it makes me feel secure, it tells me who i am and i am clear of my views on different stuff...

but i'm not going to say any of it. maybe not today, maybe never. but is it really important? haha (:

so i shall talk about MALAYSIA TRIP! real happy, there's really no replacement for family.

Day 1

well...my mom suddenly told me her friend was coming along to join us to stay at my uncle's. i wasn't happy. sorta quarreled with her. but my type of quarrel is just to keep quiet and say a few words then keep quiet again. but i make it a point to be honest at least. well yeah i was kinda pissed. family means family, friends mean friends and i knew my uncle and aunt will have to put on a "show" in front of her friend. well i got over it, and yeah i flew over on BUDGET haha (: ate some nice malaysian food, i just love malaysian food (: watched some funny canto show not much to say abt there

Day 2

BEST DAY(: i spent the morning with DIM SUM in my mouth and my stomach (: u gotta love malaysian food (: ahhh so anyway when i came back i watched as many thrillers as possible. one of the things i really look forward to during family visits. AHHHH FD4! pretty good, but less than what i expected i guess i was just tired of the same idea after seeing it three times before haha(: gore was there, real gory but not as bad as the second. erm after that i watched this show called crypt. lousy acting noob gore and weird plot. to sum tt up, it was a disappointment. this was a real good one THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. really good storyline. rather gory, and very unique plot loved it (: so yeah that is pretty much it for tt day. ate good food as usual

Day 3

woke up early for BAKUTEH i love it together. one word, "SHIOK". better than sex, yes oliver, it was! i guess i do prefer singapore's spicy peppery type. but the meat was so...tender and a bit gamey cos it was fresh i guess. then watched...

ORPHAN, the best thriller i fine yet. VIOLENCE! GORE! SUSPENSE! MYSTERY! it those that can make u pee in ur pants kind...real real nice (: loved the plot loved EVERYTHING haha...then at night we watched the proposal. foe me, it was the third time. but still funny. i think cos of sandra bullock who i no longer find pretty. but anws..yepp

Day 4 bye malaysia hello singapore, with prata in my stomach. lazy to type alr

well i tot abt lots of stuff in malaysia but never wrote them down. so i wont post it haha BYE (:

really encourages me (: really...thanks so much

anws, my father and sister are visiting for the weekend, mainly cos it was my uncle's wedding today, and my dad just wouldn't miss it for anything. not even one billion dollars i bet, cos my dad is the type that is always about family first..

anws so just came back from going out with my sister, real glad she's back, i'm glad she's overseas.

yknow because she's further, we're closer? if u noe what i mean...i love her a lot and i hope ur are able to say that about ur siblings too, cos nothing is greater than family

friends come and go, but family is always there...DAMN IT haha jk...

so anws, today was my uncle's wedding. wow...haven't attended one in ages, but it wasn't the normal kind of wedding, it was actually a hokkien christian kind of wedding...

to let ur know, my uncle recently became a christian i think...last year or something, and since then he really has a totally new perspective in life, the amazing things that God does in lives, i can testify...

so anws, it was really enjoyable especially the food HAHAZ...cant believe i go for weddings for the food lolz...but i guess as i listened to the ceremony. i began to think of the theme of love...

we all still remember doing R&J rite? abt sensual love, infatuation, romantic love and true love. haha but i will be honest although they say the love between romeo and juliet was romantic love...i beg to differ...

the love between them was any other love that teenagers face not romantic love, need i remind you juliet was only 14...it was something i would call "desperate Love"

mind if i share with you about what i view about love? if u do mind, pls stop here.

i believe that every person's heart needs energy, and this energy comes from love. every heart needs a certain amount of love to make the person feel "full" or "energised" a bit like a car's fuel tank...

those people who are short of love tend to feel down and move slowly...but those filled with love are joyful and carefree...

love isn't an emotion, but is more like the ROOT of all emotions...

the people of my generation are getting into BGRs and stuff...but if i were to ask them what is their purpose in their relationship, they tell me they don't know, in fact they just hope it lasts long...

so this just proves my point...these people are just in the need of love, so they go to people who want love as well and they end up sharing love...and they think the only source of love is from a person of the opposite sex...and they get the love by saying "ILY" or call each other loveydubby names...

well they're wrong, love comes from many sources. i hope ur will understand that there is only one kind of love...not like fuel with "95 diesel" or "98" and stuff...

love can come from family and friends too...and just cos they dont say "i love you, sweet dreams honey" doesn't mean they don't show love. they do acts of love to express love, and be honest with yourself, doesn't that satisfy? i mean like...if ur close friends ask u to hang out and like they want u to, doesn't that make u feel appreciated?

so for those who go into BGRs and stuff, i kinda feel sorry for them in a way, it either shows their idea of love is warped, OR they don't get enough love from friends and family...

a relationship between man and woman is only when two people are taking a step to be committed to one another, that should be the goal of a relationship, NOT TO LAST LONG (that is love with an expiry date)

so yeah..if u wanna find out more abt real love, there's alot about it in the bible, seriously sorry to sound rather spiritual and stuff but i never thought anybody could write a book to explain life...because everyone has a different life...but somehow the bible has never failed anyone...

so yeah hopefully the next time u think of getting into a BGR, maybe you'd think what u want to get out of it...and if it's pleasure, go dig a hole and die haha...jk

i guess that's what blogs are for...

haiz...i realised something recently, i've changed...i've changed a lot...

to be honest i can't remember how i was like before..but all i noe is that i am a different kind of person...

idk luh...maybe i'm just thinking too much or maybe it's a good change but to me? i dun really like the new me...everytime i go around school and church and stuff...idk...i don't feel natural..in fact i don't even noe whether that is my natural self cos if it is? it sucks...

sigh maybe i'm just going through another teenage identity crisis...and my identity should only be in God. but i dont think so leh...i think this is a more "be yourself" issue cos i am sure of my identity...

I HAVE NO IDEA! all i noe is that everyday...grrr...i have no idea how to explain this...and funnily...as i am writing this...i can hear the australian national anthem playing from the TV, i think it means something...

"I need a change in life...a breakthrough...something that can give me genuine joy again..."

anws, posting cos tomorrow is english...

yeah just wanna do this as a form of encouragement to fellow peeps.

hang in there k guys? 3 more papers (: and seriously, don't be afraid about the last two, cos in the end, what's done is REALLY done, so just let it be and hope for the best (: if it doesn't come out well pls don't be discouraged...something i've learnt in life is that everything seems to happen for a reason (: in the end, it will all be worth it, somehow haha(:

yepp so study hard, and enjoy the times. can't wait till end of exams haha

the feeling is so much better than sex...lol